December 31,
1855
(James Smith, "Marvelous
Mercy!" 1862)
The following is an
excerpt from the diary of James Smith:
December 31, 1855.
The last
day of the year 1855--a year characterized by . . .
many severe trials,
many sore temptations,
and innumerable mercies.
In some
things, it closes differently to what I expected--but how
differently it may have closed!
I might have been in Hell! O
terrible thought!
I might have been on a sick bed, tormented with
excruciating pain, or reduced to a state of infantile weakness.
I might
have been in great and sore troubles, tossed with tempests, and not comforted.
I might have been without a pastorate--and without a loving people.
Or I might have been guilty of some heinous sin, lost my character, and
been a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth!
Blessed, forever blessed be
the Lord--that such is not my case!
My health is good,
my
hope in Christ is steady,
my congregation good, and
I
trust the Lord will yet work a great work by me.
And now, Lord, I desire to confess before you the
sins of this past year:
I have sinned with my tongue--and
with my temper.
I have sinned in my heart--and in my
life.
I have omitted duties.
I have committed
sins.
My motives have often been impure.
My aims
have not been sufficiently high and holy.
I have been impatient,
fretful, irritable, rash, jealous, envious, discontented, and ungrateful.
O may the blood of Jesus wash out every stain!
I renounce
all hope--but what centers in Jesus!
I have no refuge, no hiding-place,
no strong tower, no place of safety--but Jesus.
Christ in His person,
Christ in His finished work,
Christ in His glorious intercession--
is
all my hope, all my confidence, all my joy!
I am His servant--and
wish to serve Him alone.
I am His subject--and wish to be ruled by
Him alone.
I am His purchased property--and wish to be consecrated
entirely, eternally, and altogether to Him!
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